My Strength is My Strength

I remember when my friend first sent me this poem, telling me that it reminded her of me. I was going through a really hard time, and to this day I can still honestly say that it was the worst season of my life. I was really honored by these words and the acknowledgement of my strength but I don't think I ever truly believed it. The words felt undeserving for someone like me. 

Strength isn't the first thing people would think of when they see me. I'm a very small person, I'm told I look like a child and for the most part of my life, I've only been treated as a delicate little thing. It's crazy to think that anyone would think of me as strong. 

And maybe it's crazy of me now, but I'm starting to believe them. Looking back at the 22 years that I lived, I have conquered a lot. 

I've willingly walked into many situations knowing that it will tear me apart and yet I still did so because I knew I had to. Some people find me impulsive, to even attempt to conquer the hardest paths (sometimes too soon). But today, I realized that sometimes you just have to. You never know when you'll need to face it and it's better to just get it over with. 

I've always wanted to be a princess or well, maybe just treated like one. I wanted to be loved well and taken care of and protected. It didn't have to be from a prince but everyone in my life. And I still want that but I also see how I was never meant for that life. I've been taught to stand up and fight for what I valued and I will never forget the day I realized I actually have that strength to. I learned how to give up everything I shielded myself with so that I can fight for those I love. And that strength, is worth more than everything I've lost.

Whenever people asked me "What do you like most about yourself?" I always had a hard time answering. It's not that I don't like who I am, I just don't spend a lot of time thinking about it. There's always something to do or someone to love and naturally I just push myself aside. But today I can proudly say that I love my strength. I love how I choose to walk into pain knowing that it will be worth it in the long run. I love how I can fight to protect and love myself, not needing anyone to do me that favor. And I love that I learned how to let go of my walls so that I can fight to love. 

This strength definitely doesn't come from me but I believe that God has made me this way. I truly believe that He has built it in my core to be able to withstand what I've gone through (given that He prepared and guided me all the way). I believe that He made me to fight like the warrior child that I am. And I'm absolutely in love with that.