If you know me or read my testimony post (somewhere down there) you'll know that I had depression before. During that time period, a friend of mine told me that taking walks make you feel happier because there are antidepressants in the soil. Now, I don't know how true that is (being that it came from a middle schooler at the time) and I never bothered to check because from that day on whenever I have a hard time, I really do feel better after a walk.
As a kid, a walk was a walk. It just made me feel better and it clears my head. But after coming to Christ, its no longer simply a walk for me. My walks are times where I truly quiet myself and just bask in God's presence. I truly believe that God's fingerprints are everywhere; the sky, the trees, everything; if you were to really look, you can see just how beautifully they all come together.
I've been having a hard time recently and I've been wanting to go to Fort Totten for a while now for Quiet Time so I finally decided that I'd go today. I had this whole picture of what I would be doing there, I was going to sit on that rock pathway and just read the bible and meditate on everything that God is doing. So I hopped on a bus and 1.5 hours later the bus driver said "last stop, fort totten" so I got off the bus. "This is not Fort Totten" was the first thought that came to my mind. The last time I took the bus here was a few years ago and the bus literally dropped you off right by that rock pathway you see in my photo. But here I am standing in front of a street with a million houses surrounding me; that was when I saw a sign saying Fort Totten Park and followed it.
I walked in through the entrance of the park which I remember being right next to the rock pathway but I couldn't find the pathway anywhere (it was covered by construction stuff and I completely missed it) and I had no idea where the bus back home was because I half followed the sign and half just walked wherever my feet guided me to. My phone was also running low on battery. It was actually quite crazy but for some reason I was calm the entire time. From getting lost to not knowing how to get home to even the fact that my phone may just die on me before I find my way home; I was completely at peace.
This place was beautiful. I took so many pictures but none of them can do it justice. My pictures couldn't capture the beauty of the autumn sun shining down on the trees and the golden glow that surrounded me. The warmth of the sun felt like a nice big hug, it felt so comforting as if God was saying "its ok I'm right here." I kept walking and stopping to take pictures until I found these benches behind this fire department area and sat down to read. The wind was picking up and the pages just flipped to Matthews 14 and the first thing I saw was "Jesus walks on water" This was quite amazing to me because I've been obsessed with the song "Oceans" by Hillsong recently and its about this passage. Both the song and the passage has been bringing me a lot of comfort because of how well it relates to my struggles.Although my QT turned out much different from what I had expected, from the second I got there I knew God had planned it all out. If I were able to sit on those rocks or freaked out about getting lost and my phone dying and just went home; I would've missed out on what I had experienced today. I left there with a lightened heart, joy and peace.
I must say though the next time I do this, I must bring a jacket and a spare battery. I was FREEZING.
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