I was pretty determined not to turn this blog into another diary of mine but I also wanted to share about my struggles and growth as I walk this walk. Living a life for God isn't always going to be all rainbows and sunshine, and what better way to help others relate than to share these real life issues with real life people.
So I recently attended this Conference in New Jersey. I attended the same one last year and I loved it but that wasn't the reason why I came back this year. Quite honestly for a few years now, I had no desire to go to any conference/retreat/praise night. I guess you can say I was falling into a spiritual slump and I had no idea. Just like last year, I rejected my Pastor's invite to attend the conference. There was just too much effort that goes into asking my non-christian parents, effort that requires energy which I did not have. I was pretty far from God at this point, I couldn't feel him when I prayed, I was scared and lost and so very hurt from life.
I am really blessed with a Pastor who truly cares about me though. This year and last, he really encouraged me to go and experience what God wants me to experience there. Both him and his wife reminded me how I need to trust and rely on God rather than myself to get through life's struggles. And, ofcourse, they were right.
Epic Conference may just be the best thing that's happened to me since I started my college career. There's a unique kind of community there that I can't find within my own fellowship back at Stony. I look at the students attending and these people actually really care about their campuses and are on fire for God. They come to this conference with their whole fellowship basically and all of them have a genuine relationship with one another. (Some of them flew here from Florida or Kentucky.)
My favorite part of the conference besides the speakers and the people I meet, is definitely finding out the stats for outreach. Outreach is something I am extremely scared of. I'm an introvert for the most part, speaking to people, approaching them and making small talk is all very outside of my comfort zone. But at this conference, we are challenged to go out and reach out to people with the gospel. I stood there extremely nervous and not sure of what I would do, but it's amazing how the second I started approaching people I was no longer scared. It felt almost natural, like it's no big deal. God really does provide us when we do his work and we are all called to share the gospel. Here comes the best part, at the end of the night the MCs would go up on stage and read us the stats for outreach. I literally look forward to the very last stat they read and that is the number of people who came to Christ that day. It didn't matter to me who brought who to Christ, or whether it was the work of our outreach that did it but the very fact that more people were saved, that makes my heart so happy. I understood at that point what the bible meant by people up in heaven throws a party for each newly saved life, my heart was ready to jump out of my chest in joy at that moment.
I met some really amazing people here. Their love for God shines through them and I am so glad I was able to meet each and every one of them. They were able to help me fight my introvert-ness and really make an effort to step out of my personal bubble to join in on their community. I am really blessed to be a part of Epic and God is so amazing.
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